Exercise, Emotions, Energy


The one thing that has been a constant as a result of regular exercise, is elevated mood.

If you feel stuck in an emotional rut, get moving. Find an exercise modality that suits you.

Try the following exercises if you find yourself in these emotional states:

  1. Run to get happy.
  2. Try yoga or tai chi to quiet an anxious mind.
  3. Take a kick boxing class BEFORE you kick someone’s a$$!
  4. Hit the weights if you feel scattered, confused, or want to cultivate more discipline.
  5. Dance if you struggle with body image issues, or low self esteem.
  6. Try sprints or plyometrics if you feel like you want to power up.

Exercising moves energy. Decide where you want to go, or how you want to feel, and use exercise to help get you moving.



Treasure Time

Time is our God given treasure. It’s the gift that every single human being has that doesn’t discriminate. Time doesn’t care about your race, your financial bracket, your sexuality, your height, your weight…none of that. Time is faceless and unbiased. It only seems like it favors those of us who cherish IT.

24 Hours in a day, we all get that. 7 days a week, we all get that. 365 days in a year, each and everyone of us get’s that also. Out of the 24 Hour in a day how many hours are we really being productive? Out of the 7 days in the week, how many days are really putting forth the effort to change our lives? Out of the 12 months in the year, how many months are we planning for and reaching our goals?

How much time are we setting a side to listen to God, and then follow through?

I’ve heard people say, life is a number’s game, and the younger I get…(-; , I think what that really means is life is all about what we do with our time.

Use your time wisely.

Peace & Blessings

More Than An Erection

I got a call from a man wanting me to coach him because he couldn’t get an erection. When I got the call I thought the dude was full of it. He wasn’t. As it turns out he got my number from a trusted reference—a female client that I worked with for almost 2 years. Without saying too much I’ll just say that she and I worked through trauma of the womb. Her doctors told her that she wouldn’t be able to have a child. After 2 years of training and coaching she got pregnant and gave birth to a healthy baby girl. So when he mentioned her name (I coach females only) I decided to meet with him to see if I could help at all.

The guy wasn’t shy about his condition. He went right into telling me all about it. He had even been to medical doctors, and a couple a psycho/cognitive therapist. He’s had acupressure. He used Viagra, and other medications as well as herbs that were known to stimulate sexual arousal. Some of them worked, but not for long—not long enough to please his girlfriend. He admitted to watching pornography to get aroused. It worked, but again not long enough. So, one of the first things that I asked him was if he was gay. He said he wasn’t. So my next question was does he love his girlfriend. He does. Does he find his girlfriend attractive? Yes. So what’s the problem? He didn’t know, and neither did I. He began talking, and I listened. He kept using the word perform. When It’s time to perform this…when it’s time to perform, that…when I’m performing, this happens….I feel like this while I’m performing. Who the fuck performs when they love someone I wanted to know. You melt into each other. Seriously, are you a pornography star? Do you want to be? Or are you a man that is trying to connect with the woman you love in the most intimate way humanly possible?

Throughout our conversation I began checking him every time he used the word perform. I guess he got it. So to delve a bit deeper I asked him about his alcohol consumption, which was pretty high. Why people have to “take-it-to-the-head” before sex is something I still don’t understand. Especially when high levels of alcohol in the body slow down blood flow—the one thing you need to sustain an erection. http://alcoholrehab.com/alcoholism/alcoholism-and-sexual-dysfunction/ Don’t you want to be engaged and conscious of the person you’re connecting with? Yes? No? Maybe not. By his testimony almost every song that comes on his favorite radio station is about becoming intoxicated enough to beat up the female genitalia—perform I guess. That was the first problem.

As the conversation got deeper I discovered that the first time he had sex, it wasn’t even his choice. His relatives…women at that, thought it was time that he became a man. So they solicited a female neighbor who was almost a decade older than the young man, already had 3 or 4 children, and whom he did not love and was not attracted to. As his story goes, his female relatives locked him in the room with the older female so that she could make a man out of him. Like WTF!? Really?? When I asked him if he liked the experience he flat out said no. This was his first sexual experience.

Deeper into the conversation I learned that his religious beliefs about sex were contradictory to his behavior. I mean, the God we believe in will set the tone for our entire lives. As the conversation went on about God and religion he admitted that he was in fact agnostic, but he was doing his best to stay close to the teachings of his child hood. So I asked him why he didn’t he just marry the woman if he loves her, if he finds her attractive, if he believes that he should be married before having sex. His response was he doesn’t think he’s good enough. Him not being good enough is defined by him not having a prestigious job, although he is gainfully employed, and him not having x amount of dollars in the bank. Okay so now I wanted to know what his girlfriend thought. His girlfriend wants to be his wife, despite the odds.

I knew there was little that I can do or say regarding his “condition.” I offered advice anyway, knowing full well that an erection is mental and emotional. I told him that. He understood, especially since we were able to make some connections from past to present.

It seems like so many people are having issues with sexual arousal and sex in general at a very early age. My thoughts are, sex is sacred, and we’ve gotten away from that. Sex is spiritual, emotional, mental, and physical; but somehow or another we’re only paying attention to the mental and physical aspect of sex. Mentally we’re in the head, thinking about performing, and how we look. Physically, we’re just trying to “catch a feel.” I get it. An orgasim is one of the best feelings in the world; but if you don’t feel good about yourself, and if you don’t know yourself what kind of sex do you expect to have?

The last thing I suggested for him to do was to think about ways that he could stand up in himself—get clear about his beliefs, his life, and it’s direction. Call it pseudoscience, but all of these things correlate with sustaining an erection. No matter what society says, an erection comes from within.

Tips for a Healthy Erection

1. Drink lots of water

2. Limit your alcohol and sugar consumption.

3. Try to avoid over working yourself, and stressful situations.

4. Get regular exercise. Both cardiovascular training and weight training help with blood flow.

5. Practice deep breathing, meditation, yoga, and or pilates.

6. Avoid sexual intercourse with multiple partners. Your brain gets scattered and use up Jing–vital sexual energy which is found in the kidney. https://youtu.be/dRpWisPDgWQ

7. Avoid pornography and other sexual solicitation that promotes that idea of “physical perfection. Focus on your partners body.

8. Love and trust are paramount, not only in a relationship, but in a sexual relationship as well. It’s easier to completely relax and “let go” when you trust the person you are being intimate with.

9. Performing is for actors. You’re in a real relationship, with a real person.

Fitness for Life

I didn’t have to think twice when my manager asked me if I could work this weekend. Deep down inside I wanted to. I wanted to check out the tone of the club during the weekend anyway. I wouldn’t work Friday though. That was my “selfie” day. Saturday was beautiful. I got a chance to work with two of my favorite service team members, it made the seven hours fly by, plus the day was productive. Almost every guest that came in decided to make health and fitness a priority.

The highlight of Saturday was a couple who came in to restart their health and fitness commitment. They brought in their two sons with them, so naturally they wanted to partake in the kids club membership for the boys. After we tallied up the dues for their start up fees and monthly dues the father looked at his wife. The wife showed no mercy. She was ready to start, and literally commanded me to swipe her husbands credit card. I obeyed.

Then she looked at her stomach, and her husband put his hand on her stomach as his face began to beam from his golden smile. She burst into laughter after admitting that there just might be another baby on the way which meant that her husband would definitely have to re-tally the family fitness fees in the near future. I couldn’t help but laugh, as their two sons were going bunkers already, excited for the kids club.Then she told me the story of how her and her husband had been trying for years to have children. They tried various medications and medical procedures with no luck. Then one day they joined the gym. They changed their diet moderately, and they worked out five to six days per week. They both lost weight and lead relatively healthy but very active life styles. In less than a year she was pregnant with her first son, and not even a year later she was pregnant with her second.

Stories like that came pouring in until I clocked out, and it just reaffirmed my belief—health and fitness enhances peoples lives. I felt blessed to be apart of that.

The wonderful thing was, this wasn’t the first time I heard the very same story. In my first book “Before You Work Out, Exercise,http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/before-you-work-out-exercise-nadirah-aqueelah-shakir/1021907698?ean=9781440180507 I wrote a similar story of a couple trying to conceive who could not. After about six months of training she was pregnant also. The list goes on  up until today of women who decided to make their health a priority, and are now happy mothers. Earlier this month I went to a company meeting and one of the featured stories was about a trainer who trained a woman who was having trouble conceiving. After training for a period with her trainer, she conceived also.

I know that body is a servant of the mind. It really is. So the fact that these people’s lives began to change after they start training is not a surprise, it is only the result of their decision to change their mental attitude about what is possible for their lives. The amount of mental fortitude it takes to decide, and stick to a wellness regimen is no easy task; but once you began to do it, the possibility for more positive things to occur in your life are endless. This is because your mind is now aware that you can in fact do what you once thought was impossible.

“Mind over matter—Your body and your life are the matter.”

Don’t confuse the Differences

There is a difference between goals and aspirations.

Don’t confuse love and admiration.

There is a difference between an author and a writer.

Don’t confuse a follower and a friend.

There is a difference between an artist and a celebrity.

Don’t confuse a loss with failure.

There is a difference between talking and saying.

Don’t confuse stillness with inactivity.

There is a difference between a winner and a champion.

Don’t confuse a warrior with a soldier.

Sing into the Heart of the Angry

Last night I was put into a position where I had to talk to a confrontational person. I do my best to avoid the person at all cost because I know just how volatile the individual can be. Last night there was no avoiding the situation or the individual, not if I wanted this morning to go as beautifully as it did. So I went to the place where I would have the conversation with the person who was known to flip out.

When I got there, I had about 20 minutes to myself before we would meet. The night air felt so good, so I decided to step outside and wait. I sat on the hood of my car and began to chant one of my favorite surahs. I chanted out loud, not loudly, but aloud, just enough for me to hear myself, and just loud enough for me to believe that the surrounding angels heard me also. As I chanted, I thought about the situation, and the person who was known for their volatility. I began chanting to the heart.

When the person pulled up, I asked did they want to go inside, or did they prefer to stay outside. The volatile person let me decide. Naturally I stayed outside. As I began to bring up the subject that we came to address, I could feel a subtle tension in my stomach. Then I saw a similar tension on the face of the person. The wind blew toward my face and breast and without thinking a released a deep sigh. The person sighed also. We made eye contact; and in this persons eyes I saw fear. Perhaps we were afraid of each other; or maybe the situation was just uncomfortable.

So, while looking the individual in the eyes I remembered and then affirmed something I read earlier that day. Perfect love cast out fear. Silently I affirmed it for the person. Silently I affirmed it within myself, and like that, a situation that could have become a heated one was suddenly cooled by the love in the night’s wind.

We embraced each other, and I was given what I requested with all the love, graciousness, and empathy that I had ever seen this person muster. I was so happy, and to my surprise the person was happy also. By their own testimony, that’s exactly how they wanted it to be.

“There is no need to run from or avoid confrontation. Just take love with you. Some things will never change if we don’t confront them.”

Peace & Blessings