So many single people are obsessed with being in a relationship. It’s as if they don’t meet Mr. or Mrs. Right their entire existence is irrelevant. They can’t eat. They can’t sleep. They can’t even go out to a social event without looking for their soul mate. I understand the basic human need for companionship and relationship. The desire to connect and share our hearts and lives with another soul is an innate trait that most human beings have. What’s unhealthy though is the yearning—the obsession to have someone–anyone, which drives people to make deplorable relationship choices. Also, entering into relationship because of a need—financial or other, will only lead to disaster. No one can learn our lessons for us or do the work for us. We have to do it ourselves.
One of the most loving things single people (all people for that matter) can do for themselves is to obtain a deeper understanding AND acceptance of themselves. You’ll be surprised at how many single people who are desperate to get into a relationship, haven’t the foggiest idea what makes them happy. Furthermore the desperation to be in a relationship leads them to compromise their very own happiness. The relationship will not last and if it does the energy will be toxic. Also, trying to hide behind personas and adhere to roles for the sake of obtaining a relationship will choke at ones life force as well.
One of the things that I do as a happily single individual is embrace the relationships around me. If you are single (or not) and desiring a sacred union you should too. Here’s why. The Universe is always sending someone to share in love with you. It may not be the type of relationship that you are looking for but the energy for giving and receiving is always there. Furthermore allowing yourself to be open to those around you will help you better prepare for “THEE” relationship you are wanting. When you see every relationship as a relationship that can assist you in becoming the type of person you would like to “be with” some day then you are on your way to sharing life with that special someone. In the meantime, just chill, love, and get to know you. Do some of the things that you dreamed of doing, and more importantly pay attention to the people around you. Someone is always trying to love you. Just look.
For further insights on self love, relationship, and inner confidence read pages 27-30, and 141-142 in my memoir Before You Work Out, Exercise http://bookstore.iuniverse.com/Products/SKU-000141255/Before-You-Work-Out-Exercise.aspx.
Wishing you unconditional love and fearless self acceptance, Nadirah A. Shakir