Everything happens in Divine Time and in Divine Order—everything. That includes the time that you will meet your divine partner. Understanding the power of divinity will help you release the anxiety regarding meeting that special someone to share your future with. If we can relax our expectations and our anxiousness about entering into a sacred union, then we will be able to embrace where we are now, and experience the unity that is life.
It really breaks my heart when people come in to speak to me about their life goal to meet that special someone, and yet they are not treating themselves like someone special. Depressed, anxious, and self-loathing, they cry because no one has chosen them as the one; and they wonder if they will ever be chosen. They have done vision boards, meditations, prayers, on line dating, singles retreats, and the list goes on FOREVER. What has not been done is self work!
What I’m going to say may sting, but I’m going to say it anyway. If you are single right now, then you are supposed to be. So relax, and get down to business with numero uno—YOU!
Okay so you want to get married, yeah? Well let’s ask ourselves a couple of questions. The following are questions which will help you explore the truth about your readiness for a sacred union.
9 Exploratory Questions for the Ambitious Single Who’s Ready For Marriage.
1. If you met yourself today as is would you marry you? This question requires real honesty. Look at every aspect of your life financial, spiritual, health, attitude etc., and then ask yourself that question again. Many times the idea of marriage is something we fantasize about when we want to escape our current reality. News Flash: You can’t run from yourself; but you can run into yourself!
2. What are you bringing to the union? Let’s get real. Are you coming to give or are you coming to take? It really doesn’t matter which one you think you’re coming to do—give or take, because as soon as you enter into any relationship you will consciously and unconsciously give and take. Again, what are you bringing? This goes back to the honesty of question 1. With what you have to give now…RIGHT NOW, would you want it? If not—about-face, and get busy fixing you up!
3. Are you comfortable financially? Our society is full of people trying to “come up” financially by way of relationship, and that may work for a while; but if the consciousness is not there to sustain the financial “come up”, the relationship as well as the bank account will go bankrupt. Research shows that the majority of relationships fail as a result of financial distress. While you are single, get your money right!
4. Is there anything that you can do to get yourself in a healthier state? Yes, the vows say for better or for worse; but if there is anything that we can do to make ourselves better for our future union shouldn’t we be doing that? Don’t you want to live in perfect health and harmony with your Mr. or Mrs. Right FORVER!!!???
5. Is there anyone that you feel like you need to forgive? Unconsciously, we take our baggage from past hurts into our new beginnings believing that we are beginning again, when in essence what we are really doing is creating situations to heal past hurts. We are marrying our mothers. We are marrying our fathers. We are even remarrying our ex-husbands and ex-wives. The soul wants to forgive. So if you are single, and feel that there are people you need to forgive do so, so that you can really marry someone new, and have a new experience.
6. Are you comfortable with you sexual identity? That’s right I said it! If you are gay, do not lie to yourself and your partner and say that you are straight. Think about the heart ache down the line. It’s not fair. If you are bisexual, tell your man or woman straight up that every once in a while you might want to employ a third party or you might want to stay out all night. Communication—Honesty–Trust—Marriage—remember!?
7. Why do you want to get married in the first place? Do you even believe in the sanctity of marriage or are you under some type of societal peer pressure. Be clear about your beliefs regarding monogamy, polygamy, and the idea of commitment.
8. Have you clarified your spiritual beliefs/chosen faith/religion? Sharing the same faith is important for many people because when challenges present themselves in our sacred unions we often resort back to our spiritual foundation to help us become grounded and re-tie that sacred knot back together more tightly.
9. Are you willing to compromise—give and take and give some more? A sacred union is about give and take period. You give your time, money, spirit, love, life…everything. So just be ready for that, and make sure that the person you choose is ready for that also.
If you want to get married, then more than likely you will. In the meantime take inventory of where you are now, and work on you so when you run into you (your husband or wife) in the future you really feel ready…and worthy!(-:
I wish you love, love, and more love! Nadirah A. Shakir